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ColColonCleaner

The end of my time here

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Hello all, and also farewell.

As others before me have said recently, I never thought I would be writing a post like this any time soon, but the time has come. I'm not much for words but I'll say what I can. A lot has transpired in the 4 years since I joined out of the BF3 conquest server we ran. In fact almost every person that replied to my initial member thread has since rotated out, for better or worse. There are too many people to remember, the success stories, the crazy falling outs, the bans, the disputes, the joy, the drama, the bureaucracy.

Lately I've been reminiscing about all the terrible things that have happened at the hands of management here as others have, of which some I still see from time to time. I don't want to be involved with the bureaucracy anymore, the secrets, the censorship, the bullshit, the illusions of grandeur. Exchanging horror stories was actually quite the bonding experience with Phire recently, which was about the time I think we both realized deep down something had to go. It doesn't feel like home anymore. It feels like a cold shell of a place that used to bring me a lot of joy to come into every night.

This isn't to say there haven't been great accomplishments; seeing the good things happening over the past months in the battlefield section, management-wise, has been one of if not the best turnaround I've seen in this community. Although these things happened far too late to matter in the long run we saw actual caring for the people who regularly play our servers from management, and approval of things that were denied fervently for a long time. We attempted for so long to hold a meaningless stance of indifference toward player's opinions, but that finally started to crumble once a new VA was appointed for us. Thank you Marcinkoman for doing your best to make the BF section a place players actually could want to be, you've done what others could not, getting through the layers and walls against change held by some here. Back a couple years ago my naive attempts to do the same via brute force, while being what we found eventually to be correct, were unsuccessful to say the least.

Over the years the servers we ran in my section became something I held very dear, #7 being my pride and joy, every night coming in trying to make things better either through admin work in-game or by furthering the development of our admin tools. On occasion actually putting off college projects because things needed to be finished. Back in the dark times that sometimes meant going to other communities for testing help because things were so locked down here. The servers became to me like little children requiring care, listening to regulars, and many many hours of effort. Looking back I've managed to put over 5,000 hours into tool development here, and thousands more admining the servers. When something that has become that pinnacle in your daily existence is being hindered, growth stunted, and attempts to break it free are only met with stonewalls and indifference, it erodes your passion over time.

Even now though I still enjoy jumping into servers and taking care of people. The most fun I've had with this place recently is bonding with new people in #5 when I'm in there by myself as the only ADK and get to play lovable admin during low pop like old times with nobody around to ruin it with hate mail, belittling players, being a general asshole in public while flying our flag, etc. I'm done, I've had it, I'm tired, I'm spent. I just want to have fun and play with people I know. I wanna be able to be casual again. It's not what I find here anymore. I'm likely to roam for a while with Phire and find a place with some others we used to be active with here, or find something of our own, I'm not sure.

AOB, I know we still do not mesh or get along. However, we've both managed to at least be civil with each other over the past few months, which is refreshing. It still isn't for you that I put in work here though, too much has transpired for that, it's for those who survived, the servers and people in them that daily would bring joy to our hearts, and renewed our passion to take another day. However, it means a lot being able to take care of those I love, both the people in servers I cared for, and the little lady I met through this community. Thank you for providing the place I indirectly learned a great deal of adult life from, patience, and maturity, despite the issues. It's honestly something I contribute greatly to my ability to be social, having a place where I was comfortable to be and interact with friends. It's bittersweet, but I am thankful for having this place. The biggest pieces of criticism I could provide here are the following; shooting for the moon at the expense of your people gets you nowhere in the end, and removing illusions of grandeur in favor of listening to the people who grease your gears every day can mean the world.

I've loved and hated my stay here, but It's time to leave this behind. There are literally too many people to mention, I would need basically the entire membership roster. Many of you I care about greatly, some can spoon a lathe. Cheers all.

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I usually starts my posts with " welcome to ADK........" , But recently its starts or ends with " i wish you all the best in your life "  or something like that .

Don't know where to start and how it will ends , if i said it was really nice to kill you in game that would be stupid cause i don't consider you just a player or friend that i just play with , i consider you as a RL friend , i really enjoyed every single day that we hangout wither that was in game or in the meetings or else , i really felt those moments when we all were laughing like they were real and that you guys are beside me , maybe this is how it feels when two parts of one family laughing , i really do consider you as a part of my family Colon . 

Reading Phier leaving topic made me weak and reading this just ended me , don't  know if i can wait and see another great friend leaves , i tried to be strong and positive all the time and praying that others can have it . 

I guess i cant type anymore so i will jump to the hard part . 

I hate this part , it kills me every time i type it , cause it really comes from my heart .

It was an amazing three years that i spend here , met you in the second i guess , i enjoyed all the times since then , thank you for that , i really wish you all the best in your life , and hope it goes well with the " lady " , i hope that you both enjoy and get what you want from this life , thank you both to be honest , you guys cant be replaced , you guys are amazing , thank you for everything . I know that this is pointless but i have to ask , years will pass and people will come to your life and people will go , but try not to forget me , i know im no buddy , but you know me , I will always remember you , forever , until the end . 

Thank you again colon , Thank you so much and SEE YOU AGAIN . 

 

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@ColColonCleaner

You will be missed.

I remember back in the Battlefield 3 days working with you and @Prophet into the late evening hours on different improvements and items to make it and the servers better. All the drama that went those late discussions still makes me laugh to this day as it was quite fun. As well as the times in PlanetSide 2 with the rest of the gang when you helped start an Outfit with your brother.

I never did really work with you again once Battlefield 4 released so its been quite a few years since we worked together.

 

Regardless, the amount of coding / design / testing and sweat you put into the Battlefield  Section of ADK AND the Worldwide Battlefield Community will never be forgotten. Some of the tools you developed helped countless communities out with their administrative duties and server control.

 

Hope to see you around some time friend :)

 

Cheers

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When I think of Battlefield and ADK@ColColonCleaner is a given. All the admin support, whether his tools, advice, or presence in the servers or forums, you are and will be the dominant reminder to me what a high-brow high-class devoted community member should be. I wasn't always your favorite, well maybe never, lol, but life's too short not to acknowledge how much of a role model and the epitome of a BF admin that I aspired to. You are a talented and funny SOB that kept me laughing in TS and with your in-game chat in the "yellow" text. Your skills as a gamer, in BF, frustrated many, I still hate your shotgun,lol, but you are the real deal. Just know that even in my asshat days, I never lost respect or admiration of your abilities. You will be missed!

Cheers!

KnightsX


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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3 minutes ago, KnightsX said:

When I think of Battlefield and ADK@ColColonCleaner is a given. All the admin support, whether his tools, advice, or presence in the servers or forums, you are and will be the dominant reminder to me what a high-brow high-class devoted community member should be. I wasn't always your favorite, well maybe never, lol, but life's too short not to acknowledge how much of a role model and the epitome of a BF admin that I aspired to. You are a talented and funny SOB that kept me laughing in TS and with your in-game chat in the "yellow" text. Your skills as a gamer, in BF, frustrated many, I still hate your shotgun,lol, but you are the real deal. Just know that even in my asshat days, I never lost respect or admiration of your abilities. You will be missed!

Cheers!

KnightsX


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Coming from you, this means a lot. Thank you. I'm very happy with how things turned out between us, and hope things are well with you and yours. Cheers.

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1 hour ago, ColColonCleaner said:

It will definitely feel strange not having a home after this long, but I believe at this point it's the best decision I can make.

Thank you for the kind words, I will miss you guys. Of course I'll still drop in from time to time :)

Thanks for everything.

Dont be a strangers.  Drop in anytime.  

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I really do not have any words as usual...except thank you. Yes we all long for the old bf3 days and will be impossible to duplicate with a lot of us leaving what was a great community. Hopefully, it can recover to where we all comeback...but it's wishful thinking.

Good luck my friend...

-J3ngland

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