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How to cook a steak.

HansJob

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blog-0661905001399980461.jpgAlright Guys, it's time for the men to learn how to cook and for the women to be slightly better at cooking. This is Steak class.

You're having a barbecue? Wait, what? Potatosalad? Soy sausages? TOFU? You need proteins, and lots of it. It's time to get the beef out.

There's four different kind of Lean Beef cuts appropriate for acctually eating.

Sirloin

Rump

Entrecote (Even if it's french it's pretty good)

Flank

Once you get hold of the meat it's time to start preparing it. Cut it into whatever sizes you want. Or acctually, don't cut it at all. just prepare whatever size beef you bought. Just slam it down on the counter and open up your spice cabinet. What? You don't have a spice cabinet? Well get one, you can't call yourself a man until you have organized your fu**ing food. Now, take about a handfull of pepper and just rub it into the meat. Another handfull of salt, som vinegar and olive oil. Normal olive oil, not virgin. Real men don't like virgin things anyway. You prepare all the meat pretty much the same way except for the Entrecote. That little beast is going to need garlic, and lots of it. Get some butter, get some garlic. Mix em all together and just drench the sucker in it.

For an outdoor Barbecue you're going to want to use a proper coal or gas grill, none of that electric Sh*t. You gotta be standing against the wind so you can get all that meaty smoke down your lungs, don't listen to those anti-smokers a little ash has never hurt anybody. Now of course, light the barbecue properly, about two cans of gasoline should do for the coal grill, i mean, you are going to have to get that thing hot. And i mean hot, like, fu**ing medievil smith hot. Once the grill is heated up and the fire brigade has left you can start piling on the meat. Now whether you want it rare, medium or well done is up to you. Just unless you want to be a mincy little bitch you're going to cook that thing rare, very rare. WIch would take anywhere between 0-30 minutes, i don't really know i just grab my steak when i can't wait any longer.

For an indoor steak grilling just get a frying pan and pour some olive oil in it, or butter, or margarine. Or any kind of Lard really personally i use bacon grease. Been saving up my morning fry ups for seven years now, never puts me down.

So now that you know how to properly grill a steak you have taken your first step to becoming a real man.



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Here's a tip, if you don't know when you steak is ready you can just make a light cut with a knife in the most thick part of the steak, if the color is the one you want, done and ready to eat xD

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Here's a tip, if you don't know when you steak is ready you can just make a light cut with a knife in the most thick part of the steak, if the color is the one you want, done and ready to eat xD

Pink= Rare. Any other color is bullshit.

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NON STICK TIP: just before you put the meat on, use a paper towel dipped in cooking oil and rub it across the grill with your tongs. Idiots use their hands and quickly learn why tongs were suggested. 

NONSTICK TIP2: slice an onion in half and use, tongs/fork/grill glove to rub it all over the hot grate before the meat goes on. 

Both of these are quick easy ways to make that first meat flip a bit easier.

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NON STICK TIP: just before you put the meat on, use a paper towel dipped in cooking oil and rub it across the grill with your tongs. Idiots use their hands and quickly learn why tongs were suggested. 

NONSTICK TIP2: slice an onion in half and use, tongs/fork/grill glove to rub it all over the hot grate before the meat goes on. 

Both of these are quick easy ways to make that first meat flip a bit easier.

I shall do that the next time i have enough money left for a steak. Wich is.. uh.. not anytime soon.

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