*Warning, Debbie Downer post. If you're having a good day, don't read this.*
Today I took the time to scroll through my old Twitter feed. I found a lot of memories of a person I fondly remember, someone I wish I was, someone I want to talk to.
Who is that person? Me.
The problem is, I'm a member of a gaming community. We call each other family and get to know each other, but always on the basis of fun. "Don't ruin the fun," is the unsaid stipulation. We're friends, but to what extent? For an overwhelming majority of nerds, (me being a self acclaimed one, calm yourself) we make a vast majority of friends online.
Research says you completely change personalities every five years or so. Ask yourself, do you like who you are? Or would you like to change? I personally could never decide, I liked that I had a strong sense of morals, but I wanted to change my social skills. I liked that I was stubborn and could aim in video games worth a darn, but I wanted to be more well known. In short, I wanted to be myself, and I wanted to be anyone else.
I recently took a half year disappearance from my old online social life. As I was closing the door, I phrased it as "real life is kicking me in the butt. And then I made my getaway to fight my nemesis of six years, medial depression and paranoia. Now, gradually coming back and reading through the old things I wrote, I find myself missing my dedication and belief in the right thing no matter what. I wish I still had the pure spite to write some of the things I used to.
Do you like who you are? Or would you like to change?
When do we lose our childlike innocent kindness? When do we lose the desire to do good? When do we gain the ability to write inspirational quotes, and when do we decide that the opinion of that certain one individual doesn't actually matter to you?
Really, truly ask yourself-
Do you like who you are?
Or would you like to change?